haven’t i seen you before?

March 3, 2010

I’ve got friends who have gone on successful dates with online dating programs.

I’ve got friends who currently have profiles up with online dating programs (and I wish them, male and female, all the luck and happiness in the world with results.)

I’ve got friends who have gotten married to the men they’ve met with online dating programs.  (Note: those men are pretty awesome, and my friends absolutely scored.)  (For those readers out there a tad slow on the uptake… OBVIOUSLY those men hit the jackpot as well!)

I’ve got friends who convinced me to try online dating programs… and I went on three dates.  (All three qualified for one date only.  ’Nuff said.)

I stopped using the site I subscribed to (I’m not naming names… seriously, those sites make a lot of money and I can’t afford some insipid lawsuit,) and made my profile inactive so no one can see it.  I haven’t gotten around to deleting the whole thing yet though… so I still get the emails with guys they think fit what I’m looking for.  Many of the same men that were on there 2 years ago when I was perusing profiles are still there (and using the same group of photos!)  I hope they’re getting their free membership like promised (some sites make that guarantee if you don’t meet your “special someone” in a certain amount of time, right?)  Because they obviously haven’t found anyone.  Or, if they did, they’re back at it (should that be a red flag for girls currently checking these guys out?)

My line of thought is simple:  Why’s your shit still up there?  Gentlemen, if it hasn’t worked in 2 years or so, what’s going to change now?  Definition of insanity at work here- continue doing the same thing whilst expecting different results.  Boys, it’s time to move on. At least try a new dating site. (Wait, I’ll put a Lincoln down betting they have a profile on all the major sites anyway!)

  • http://www.logicsend.com Louis

    Sometimes it all comes down to face time. Some people can write a profile to launch 1000 ships, but in person they can’t communicate to keep themselves afloat. Moreover, some turn out to be the exact opposite in both personality as well as appearance of what they claimed they would be. It’s almost like purchasing a used car in “mint condition” on ebay and showing up to find a rusted out Ford pinto, the disappointment factor is huge.

    In any case Kyle, I wish you the best possible luck as you press on to find someone. Granted, I speak from a man’s perspective, and I had never realized before that it could be just as difficult from either side of the coin, but I’ve got faith in you!

    Love yourself first, don’t settle, and press on. Not to get all philosophical, but it’s only at the point that you feel like you’re about to quit that you might just be closest to succeeding (Sun Tzu). Those are my words of encouragement for the day!

  • http://www.thrive-style.com Lisa

    The online dating thing first came into my view when I lived in Boston—all the military guys were doing it because they moved all the time (there were way fewer girls on base too). They wanted to get off base and experience the city (whatever city) they were in and just meet people. Before that I associated online dating with desperation–knowing nothing about it. Seriously, it can be an awesome way to just meet people when you’re a grown-up and the only other ways to meet people (it seems like) are in a bar, at church, or at work. If you don’t work with anyone date-able and you don’t go out a lot or go to church…you don’t meet people as often. Wanting to date is not a sign that you can’t be whole and awesome alone…. and at the same time, relying too much on the online hook-up system may be pushing the other extreme.
    The guys who “live” on dating sites–they’re in their comfort zone (and I’m sure females do it too).
    I guess what I hope is that everyone can just figure out how to be happy and not place self-worth on number or quality of dates. As you said, it’s pretty unpredictable—and some friends have seriously scored with online dating.
    Kyle, you’re just an awesome person, and it’s a huge testament to you that you don’t settle for someone just to have a boyfriend. God knows I could have saved some wasted time by ditching duds sooner. The right people can come so unexpectedly—or oppositely, completely planned and searched out. You never know.
    Wanna go out for a drink? :)

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